With his team of relationship managers, counsellors, photographers, chartered accountants and a sophisticated software that helps sort out matches based on location, community, age and height, among other filters, Goswami found a life partner for the year-old that checked all the boxes. I met a lot of people and my family stepped in only when I was sure. Read The evolution of marriage, from strictly arranged to semi-arranged. But I dated my wife for a year before the wedding. They run background checks, match horoscopes, caste and family wealth, and even discuss prickly subjects like dowry. Many of these stages of Indian matchmaking and the misogyny, casteism and sexism that they sometimes reveal recently found a global audience through an eight-part series on Netflix. The show was panned as regressive, but does it hold a mirror to the modern matchmaker? An MBA, he started the service after struggling to find a partner for himself. Then, we meet the families in person, take a detailed note of their requirements — parents and children separately. We visit their homes and properties and take pictures.
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Indian Matchmaking is a Indian documentary television series produced by Smriti Mundhra. Indian Matchmaking was released on July 16, , on Netflix. Mundhra named the casting the biggest hurdle of the show, going through a client list of families and calling to see if they were willing to be on camera.
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The first season of the show has missed presenting an all-round and inclusive picture of the Indian reality. That Indian Matchmaking has upset people across the spectrum is slightly baffling given we are a culture obsessed with arranged marriages. Newspapers embellished with matrimonial adverts — ridiculous and regressive in equal measure — are perhaps the oldest testimonies to our fixation with this robust institution.
With Indian Matchmaking , this well-preserved secret is out for Western edification and that is perhaps the reason for our collective outrage against the show. The merits and demerits of this criticism levelled against the show can be emphatically argued when placed within the cultural context our society. Zara and I are far removed when it comes to our religion. I am a Hindu and she a Muslim. It is then a little unsettling that, knowingly or unknowingly, we are turning into a culture that is systematically working towards homogenising collective experiences often at the cost of a particular community.
The Indian Muslim is either cast as an insider crusading against or paying the price of the transgressions of fellow brethren Mulk, My Name is Khan, Kedarnath or an out and out threat to the very idea of India Padmaavat, Tanhaji, Mission Kashmir, Fiza who needs to be eliminated at all costs. The everyday regular Muslim, unlike you and I who are not necessitated to wear our religious identity on our sleeves, continues to be conspicuously absent on screen.
This glaring absence sits well with the virtual obliteration of Muslim voices from the collective imagination, being acted out with a renewed vigour in recent times. Plagued by stereotypes and cast in frustratingly similar moulds, on-screen representations of Muslims have seldom managed to break away from the off-screen propaganda against them. Indian Matchmaking , therefore, not only portrays an incomplete picture of Indianness but also misses an opportunity to attempt something novel.
The colourism, sexism and blatant patriarchy that underline Indian marriages are well documented and vociferously written about in the past.
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And despite the talk of all things wrong with the documentary, it is still ranked one of the most watched and talked about shows all over the world, especially in India. In the documentary, Sima Taparia, an elite Indian matchmaker, tries to find appropriate matches in India and America for all her clients, touring the houses of prospective brides and grooms while taking note of their criteria and collecting biographical details.
Deciding to not include Muslims on the show neglected to provide a closer look into the demographics of India. Arranged marriages are common in the Indian Muslim community. Families are greatly involved, and parents play a key role in the matchmaking process. Indian Matchmaking missed the mark in telling the story of Muslims in India going through the process of finding their life partner. In the age of a growing population of Muslims in India, the lack of representation in the Indian media might be the least concerning.
And while representation lacked on this documentary, there are other aspects of Muslims in India which need to be brought to light.
Netflix’s ‘Indian Matchmaking’ is only too accurate
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In Indian Matchmaking, that villain is year-old Aparna Shewakramani, a prospective bride who’s critical of every man she meets and vocal.
Colourism and sexism are found in every single episode, and with no LGBT or Muslim couple portrayed, it’s hardly representative of modern India either. But that’s no reason to write the show off altogether. When on top form, reality TV acts as a microcosm that showcases the very best and worst of humanity. It can bridges social gulfs by being universal and relatable. It also brings the unparalleled joy that comes with watching others humiliate themselves.
Indian Matchmaking , the latest Netflix hit, is a prime example. It does all that, and more. The show is trending internationally. For the Indian community, this is our Tiger King. Tweets and memes are being distributed on every family WhatsApp chain, amusing baby boomers and Generation Z alike. Intense discussions are kicked off as households decide which of their friends and family members are too close in character to the ones on screen.
If you know a Preeti, run for the hills. For some, it really has been a hilariously brutal portrayal of their own experiences.
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We cannot defeat racism if we continue to allow cultural biases govern who we love or who we let our children marry. In an attempt to escape the quarantine daze, I started watching Netflix’s new reality series, Indian Matchmaking , about the often-misunderstood world of arranged marriage. At first, I really enjoyed watching and somethings search for love and marriage in this traditional manner.
The Mumbai-based matchmaker Sima Taparia delivers this meme-friendly one-liner in the seventh episode of the hit Netflix series Indian Matchmaking. But she departs from this well-worn model in her attention to one extra characteristic: caste. This silent shadow hangs over every luxurious living room she leads viewers into. She lumps an entire social system, which assigns people to a fixed place in a hierarchy from birth, together with anodyne physical preferences.
This prejudiced treatment includes, but is hardly limited to, workplace discrimination in the United States. For example, the state of California sued the tech company Cisco in June for allegedly failing to protect a Dalit employee from discrimination by his higher-caste Brahmin managers. When a popular show like Indian Matchmaking neglects this alarming fact of the Indian American experience, it quietly normalizes caste for a global audience.
Contrary to what some viewers might think, the caste system is an active form of discrimination that persists in India and within the Indian American diaspora. One of the primary functions of arranged marriage is maintaining this status quo. That explains why people in dominant castes often carry out brutal violence against their own family members who dare to marry outside their caste, particularly if a partner is Dalit.
Last year, in Maharashtra, a father reportedly doused his daughter and her Dalit husband in kerosene and lit them on fire to condemn their intercaste marriage. These attacks are part of a pattern of families punishing relatives for rejecting marriages arranged on the basis of caste.